St. Patrick's Day is today. This revered holiday celebrates the life of St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland. Specifically, the day he, John Jameson, and Sean Bailey decided the beer Walter Guinness was brewing was gross and they needed to make it better. That day they invented the Irish Car Bomb. After a few rounds to perfect the formula, they were so smashed they decided it would be the best idea ever to have a snake throwing contest. After running drunk all over the island gathering up every snake in the land, they threw them in the ocean. None of them could see straight enough to tell who won and they would not have remembered in the morning anyway.
If Ireland were the United States it would be crowded. That's not what I was going to say. If the USA banned snakes, PETA would have an aneurysm. Happy St Patricks Day!
"Let's get drunk!"
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