Miracle

    I went to the store today because I was running out of food I wanted to eat. That’s right. I was not running out of edible food. Far from it, actually, I just didn’t have much left that seemed worth the amount of work it would take to prepare. I was also out of butter, and that is just not acceptable. I don’t go through a lot of butter, but when I do want some it is generally on like Paula Dean. I really wanted some Kraft mac and cheese last night, but I only had one tablespoon of butter left, which is like a tenth of the amount I usually use. It’s more like mac and butter and cheese the way I make it. Has anyone noticed that I hardly ever keep these posts on track? This is how my mind works all the time. It’s a wonder I am as successful as I am. If that is even a good way to state how I am getting along. How about this: It’s a wonder I have not failed more spectacularly than I have. Maybe find somewhere in the middle and we will call it fair.

    I was going to tell about my trip to the store. Now before you make a disgusted bored noise and slam your computer shut (or just walk away if you have the non-“opening” variety of computer) hear me out. So I wanted to get some Miracle Whip. I just like it, okay? Give me a break. Anyway, I don’t use much of it, so I wanted to get a small size. Sucks for me then that the 30oz size is cheaper than the 12oz size! So I had to get an enormo jar of the tangy zip! HAHAHAHA! You totally should have walked away making disgusted noises! That was the whole story! Oh man, are you a sucker! This is rich. See if you come back ever again. Now if only my computer was plugged into the internets so I could unleash this killer post on the world wide wicket. That is what the third W stands for to me. Judging. I don't care what any of you think. I just made a very satisfying fried egg sandwich with my ten gallons of Miracle Whip.

"I'll forget the world that I knew, but I swear I won't forget you"