Lather

    This is going to make me sound really lazy, but there is more to it than that. I hate when I see a new looking soap dispenser and when I push the thing regular old liquid soap comes out. Then I have to lather it up myself and that takes more time. In reality, the extra rubbing probably kills more germs and all that jazz, but I really like the instant foam. It is something that you don't really think about, but that is one of my favorite  recent gadgets. It eliminates the occasional dud soap that just doesn't want to lather. I should get one of those pumps for my house.

    I went on something like a real date this evening. I met Court half way between where we were and had dinner in a little town in the middle of nowhere. The restaurant we went to makes some really good burgers. I had a half pound bison burger with mozzarella cheese and jalapenos. It was delicious. We need to bring back the bison so we can eat them more responsibly. And eat them more. Courtney got one that had a one-third pound burger, a slice of thick salami, bacon, onion rings, and cream cheese along with lettuce and tomato. That one was pretty good. We might have to go back there. The only problem with that is there are more places to eat just in that little town and there is an Amish restaurant a few miles away. I want to go there because we used to watch this show about Amish cooking on PBS and everything the lady cooked looked awesome. There are just too many places to eat in the world! I want to go to them all!

    I got passed by some punk on a sport bike on my way to work this morning, so at the next stop sign I floored it off the line and stuck to his back tire all the way up to 80. I think that made him mad because he didn't stop and zipped around the two cars in front of us. He must have had somewhere better than work to go to. I know I was not in that kind of a hurry. Actually I hope he got arrested for riding like an eyehole.

"If the only thing to fear is fear itself, why does Elanor Roosevelt wear that spooky mask?"

Eggs

    My eggy creations have been getting more and more weird of late. Today's dinner is three eggs scrambled with diced onion, sharp cheddar cheese, sour cream with chives, fresh style salsa (I have had it for a while. It was more fresh when I purchased it), and a dash of hot sauce. This, while being less than healthy, is far from the most unhealthy iteration. That would have to be the eggs with onion, cheese, garlic, and pepperoni. Really freaking good, but I felt a step closer to the grave after eating it. I need to eat more vegetables. Its too bad I hate them all. I had a container of spinach that I was piling on my turkey salami sandwiches every day, but it got soggy. Well I am stuffed.

   I started watching Falling Skies a few days ago. I heard of the show when it first started airing last year some time, but I didn't care. Then I saw the preview for the season premier and it looked pretty cool so I had to scour the interweb to find the first season. It is quite entertaining. It is about people who are trying to survive on earth after an alien invasion. I am a little disappointed that they have not shown the invasion, but other than that it is decent. Lots of crap to deal with when the aliens take over. I think my favorite line so far was this: "I don't know what makes sense anymore. We're fighting aliens from outer space!" Good times.

    I am going to watch some more now. Stay frosty.

There Was An Old Lady

        I have some serious bones to pick with this outlandish children’s rhyme/tale. Most of my consternation lies with the old lady. She is obviously not well. No one in their right mind goes around shoveling wildlife down their gaping maw. I do not place any blame on the fly as other might. The end of every verse clearly states that the old woman swallowed the fly. There is no mention of the fly having any intention to be eaten. Then there is the logic of swallowing certain animals in the hope of catching other animals. There are two parts to this gaffe. First, I can understand the first attempt. Sure, swallow a spider to catch the fly. Spiders catch insects. Makes perfect sense. Except it doesn’t. Is the spider going to build a web inside the woman? Sounds more detrimental than helpful to me. After the spider things go wacky fast all the way up to a cow and a horse. Have you ever seen a cow chase anything? I haven’t. I have not seen a horse catch a cow either. This brings me to point number two. Does she have these animals trained? I do not see any other way she could possibly think that a goat would catch a dog, unless she had trained it specifically to do so. If this is the case, why in the heck would she do that? What possible scenario did she envision that she would need twelve different animals all trained to catch one of the others? No one has that kind of time! And wouldn’t they all be after each other all time or do they catch on command? Actually this is starting to sound like quite the impressive venture.

        The last major beef that I am going to mention here is the very last line of the story “she died of course.” This is referring to the old lady scarfing down the horse. I fail to see how, at this juncture, it is obvious that her actions would kill her. Think about it. This person just consumed an entire cow and was then still spritely enough to get a horse in her mouth and swallowed. If a cow didn’t at least seriously slow her down, I fail to see how a horse could kill her. Unless the horse kicked her from the inside or something and caused internal trauma. How does she even open her mouth that wide? She must be eating them whole, otherwise the story would run a little differently. “She swallowed the ton of horse meat to catch the fifteen hundred pounds of steak…” What a dumb lady. People eat bugs all the time. Just suck it up and move on. No need to clear out the farm.

“We need you.”
“More than you know.”
“Not that much.”

Omissions

    I realized after I made that post yesterday that I had a pretty big weekend and basically skipped right over it. The fun started Friday at four when I got off work an hour early and hit the road. Traffic was pretty light, so I was making good time, but I knew that there would be tie-ups in Cinci so I had to keep the hammer down. Sure enough, about twenty miles from my destination, the lane I was in stopped. The other two kept going, which did not make me happy. Then they stopped too and I got over it. We were stop and go for a little while, then magically everything cleared up. The only possible reason for the delay (other than rampant Cincinnati driver incompetence) was a disabled vehicle on the side of the road. Things didn't start to get hairy again until I was almost at the 75-71 split where both highways converge and try to cross the river at the same spot. This works about as well as it sounds like it would. Miles from the bridge, the right two lanes get backed up. You know, the ones that you need to be in to exit. A little ways up from where the right lanes get jammed, the left lane gets backed up with people trying to get on 71. This leaves one lane clear. I am in a hurry, so there is no way I am getting over before I have to. I know my exit is coming up in less than a mile. There are no gaps. There is a sign for my exit in half a mile. Still no gaps. Keep in mind, I am still going 65 and I have to cross two lanes of stopped traffic to exit. Here comes my exit, then as the exit ramp begins a gap appears between a car and the semi in front of it. I put my signal on and swoop in and just as I enter that spot, another gap appears in front of an RV in the next lane. I gun it and after a split second of panic that comes with a blind lane change I am off the highway on a nearly deserted downtown street just minutes from the park.
     There were tons of Tigers fans around. I think some of them were lost, because as I was driving in there were some like ten blocks away from the stadium walking the wrong way. I drove around for bit trying to find a cheap place to park. I made a pass by the park and then headed back away. Two blocks away was a sign for $15 parking. Heck no. On the next block was a garage with $7 parking. Much better. I changed out of my jeans in my car (this is highly impressive and that is only reason I have included it), grabbed my glove, and headed for my first major league game in two years. Met up with Courtney in front of the park and went in. We had over an hour before the game started, so we walked around the park. I had a feeling there would be some people there that I knew, but you will never guess who I actually ran into. Tony Metzger! I know right? What are the odds? So that was cool to chat with him for a second. Then we bought a couple wallet busting beers (which were almost worth it they were so delicious. Half Summer Shandy, half Berry Weiss give it a try sometime) and found our seats. The Tigers lost, but whatever. They won the next two games and look like a team that wants to win. They have even been playing offense and defense in the same games.
    I am tired of typing for now. Later I will recount the thrilling experience of getting from the stadium to my car then to a restaurant that serves food after 11.

"If this thing was any smarter it would write a book. A book that would make Ulysses look like it was written in crayon. Then it would read it to you."

Its Is Still Spaghetti Day

    Last day of the spaghetti marathon. I took a break over the weekend. I am a little sad actually. This means I am going to have to cook again soon. I have no idea what I want to eat tomorrow. Maybe it is time to cook up some of those hamburgers I got last week. That might have to happen.
     Went to the Tigers game on Friday. Not surprisingly it was the one game they lost this weekend. Still, it was fun. There were a ton of Tigers fans at the park. From what I heard and saw of the two other games, even more Tigers fans showed up for those. I have heard quite a bit of internet grumbling about a supposed "spitball" thrown by Jose Valverde. I personally hope he did throw a spitball. If you ain't cheatin, you ain't tryin. Someone posted a video of it to YouTube and it just looked like a straight ball to me. That was Charlie Brown's only pitch. The only reason Schroeder even put down signs was to make the other team think he threw something other than a straight ball. He also got thrown out trying to steal home one time because he worked himself up so much thinking about doing it that he slid half way down the base path. Never came close to the plate. Quite the silly cue ball headed character.

     I really like my car. Today at a red light I was enjoying the breeze coming in the window so much that I wanted more. Popped the latches and ten seconds later the roof was down and I could continue on my way. I wonder what the other cars on the road think when I do stuff like that. They should just mind their own business.

Good Week, Fingers Crossed

   So. The week so far has been something else. Monday was pretty uneventful. Work was just work, most of the skin peeled off my back, went for a nice run in the evening, nothing much to report. I honestly don't remember much of Monday. I am not going to try and decide if that is a good thing or not. Moving on... Today was pretty terrible. We had a guy come in to inspect a crane. The company that commissioned him to do the inspection was not especially clear on what exactly they wanted. They did not give him any specific instructions and they certainly didn't give me any. I had a few documents and certifications showing that the crane had gone through the correct processes to be built. So I spent five hours, not including the lunch hour, sitting there waiting for him to figure out what information he needed so I could tell him it was done or correct or whatever. It was especially frustrating since I actually had stuff to do today. For once. Nothing was going right either. The guy couldn't connect to our internet and acted like it was crazy town that we have a secure network, then he needed to scan a bunch of stuff and of course there is one flipping scanner in the whole building. And it had a paper jam. Its not my fault, okay?!? Just fill out your damn paperwork and go away! I have cranes to pretend to manage.

   It is all up hill from here! I got two new hand soaps, Lemon Grass & Basil and Black Currant & Plum. Not sure why they can't seem to just put one aroma in a soap. Maybe it is in the aroma's contract that they have to be paired. Someone should look into that for me. WEDNESDAY IS SPAGHETTI DAY!!! That means I am having spaghetti. I am excited. Almost as excited as I am for Friday when I get to see the Tigers get humiliated by the Reds! I mean when I get to see the Tigers finally win a cussing game! Yay! They better win. I will be sooo angry if I go to a game and they lose. Sadly, the odds are not in my favor that will happen.

"Good feeling gone."

New Experiences

    I got to go to a job site this week. It was a nice change of pace getting out from in front of the computer screen. I am back in front of it writing this of course. At the site I got to see an installer put four cranes in the air. It was a very easy install. They put all four up in less than an hour. There was plenty of overhead clearance and there was room to spare on both sides of the rails. I would like to see a difficult install sometime. This was new construction, no equipment or anything in the way. I would like to see something go up in an existing building where they have to maneuver around things and everything is not super easy. I got lunch paid for this time though, so I have no complaints. The week was super slow, so and change of pace was welcome.

    Just watched The Brothers Grimm. Weird movie. It would have been better if you could understand anything  the guy with the French accent was saying. Or if the little bits of CGI they used were not so campy. It is a highly improbably story. I think they all would have died several more times if it was more realistic. Yes I did say more times. Most of the main characters died once. I also used the word realistic to describe a movie that is based around fairy tale story lines. The old fairy tales were quite cool really. Evil queens living in tower, heroes battling supernatural forces. Too bad all we know of them these days is soft color dwarfs and never ending musical numbers. I wouldn't mind finding a real life sleeping beauty. Aurora was hot in that movie.

    Its too bad the only recent movies on Hulu are Miramax. That studio is pretty much terrible at making movies.Oh well, Kate & Leopold it is. Hey, Hugh Jackman and the guy who plays his brother in X-Men Origins: Wolverine are both in this. Its like 19th century X-men. Yeah, just keep telling myself that. At least so far I have understood every line. Hahaha, they just time traveled.

"Give it the beans!"