Name Drops

    I think I am going to start dropping names and see if that increases traffic to my site. I mean Angelina Jolie it can't hurt. I just have to go to Yahoo! and see what topics are trending then come here and insert a few well Kardashians placed monikers. Basically I just have to think of the people and things I am sick of hearing about and put those things on here. Snookie Bieber Taylor Swift Tiger Woods Lady Gaga

   START HERE!

   Have you seen the NAVY's new rail gun? That thing is awesome! And not awesome like the things on the terrible blog 1000 Awesome Things, actually awesome. The projectile it fires is pretty funky looking, but I still want one. Firing it once would prolly make my electric bill go up a thousand fold. They say it can fire up to one hundred miles. Ridiculous. Check it out below if I linked the right video.

Yep, that was it. Holy cow. I just read the article more closely. The projectiles are oddly shaped because they are designed to slow down quickly since they are only in the testing phase. Fully functional projectiles will be bullet shaped...and incredibly devastating. 

"Did you see that fireball? I think I'm missing an eyebrow."

Seasons are Pansies

    I just came dangerously close to writing a post about the weather. That is just sad and would be a clear indication that I do not have enough worthwhile material in my noggin to continue blogging. Since we all know my noggin is full of clever observations, amusing anecdotes, and I am not going to stop blogging even if my witticisms become so dry they start to crack, I could not let myself talk about the weather. Instead, I am going to talk about the seasons. Winter needs to get its act together and stop letting spring horn in on its territory. It is the last day of Februany and it is almost 70° out. I am not complaining about the nice weather. I am going to run my heart out after work and enjoy every minute of it. What I am complaining about is Sunday’s high being in the low thirties with a chance of snow. Everyone is going to be sick soon with these drastic temperature swings. Everyone but me that is, I don’t get sick. Spring needs to butt out until it is time. And winter needs to man up and defend itself. Maybe they can come to a compromise and it can just be 68 and partly cloudy for six straight months and I never have to put my car away. I can not wait until convertible weather. (sigh)

“Show me a liar and I’ll show you the weatherman”

Bills

    Not long ago, a friend of mine dug up an old electric bill that showed we only owed fifteen bucks for a month. He said something about how it was incredibly low. Well I got my first electric bill yesterday and it was $17. The kicker is that it was for more than a full month. On a good month, I will be paying less than what we paid that great summer. If only I had two other people to split it with...I'm just kidding, three people in this place would be awful. I resent myself for taking up so much room.

"Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends"

Impossible

   I have discovered the hardest thing ever to give up for Lent. Getting angry at other drivers. Every day I fight a constant battle from the moment I get in my car until I arrive at my destination. But it's not my fault! People do the most asinine, brainless things on the road. Take today for example. I was driving down a road with a 55mph speed limit. There was a cop car sitting at the intersection, but I could not see that his lights were on because only the rear facing lights were on. A driver in a pick-up pulled out in front of me very slowly, with plenty of time to see that a red SUV was bearing down. Then proceeded to only go about 20mph for the next quarter mile. And then he turned. Why can't someone who is only going to go that fast that far wait two seconds and pull out behind me? Its just stupid! It is sad how often these things happen. When did it become not customary to use a turn signal when making a turn? I just love when I am behind someone and they don't signal that the reason they are slowing down is to make a turn. I hate people who drive like idiots, and that makes giving up getting mad at them darn near impossible.

"Use your freaking blinker dumbass" 

Lunch Hour

Well I feel a little silly. I thought someone voted for "your mom" in my poll, then I remembered that I did.

I have a confession. I am not a fan of the lunch hour. It is far too much time. I get excited at noon because the day is half over, then an hour later it is still only half over. What are we eating for lunch that it takes an hour? Are we going out and having five-course lunches? I guess if you count pb&j, chips, an apple, a pudding cup, and water each as courses. But that seems to me like it is just a bit excessive. I would much rather have a half hour for lunch and make an extra ten buck, or get to leave half an hour early. Actually getting to work a half hour early would be better. I am not a fan of the early rising. It would be really nice if the work day started at 9:30. I usually wake up around 8 naturally. I would then have time to enjoy breakfast for once and still make it to work with time to spare. Oh well. Its time to get back to work. My hour is up.

"Find a job you like and add five days to every week"

Chardon

There was a school shooting this morning at a Cleveland area high school. For some reason this has really hit me. Maybe its because I value life so much, maybe its because I have so many friends who work in education. I don't know what it is, but it really REALLY pisses me off that anyone can be stupid enough to do what that prick did. There is nothing that can be going so wrong in your life, nothing that can be so painful, that it can justify hurting and killing innocent unarmed children. Bringing a gun to school and popping off a few rounds? What a little bitch. Then he runs away. So he can't be mentally disturbed or anything like that. The real headcases at least have the balls to shoot themselves too. As far as I'm concerned, there is no punishment sufficient to even the score. Except perhaps one of those really prolonged highly controversial methods of torture. Or an eternity in hell.

Guess that NASCAR didn't really do the trick.

Now to the solution...

Judging from the internet reaction, people jump to gun control as the problem. I, like many others, disagree completely. This child was already in violation of several laws. Guns are not allowed in schools. Most people know this. Some of the morons commenting on the internet do not. This is a problem in my eyes. Someone who wants to go on a shooting rampage in a school knows there is going to be no one to stop them because guns are not allowed. A school is like a personal killing ground for someone who wants to let off some steam. There is also the little detail that this kid was violating the law the second he stepped onto public property because you have to be 21 to get a conceal carry license. The bigger issue is mentality. There is no perfect solution to the problem. No matter what the level headed, intelligent people (and in some cases complete headcases who happen to be in charge) try to put in place, people who want to inflict pain will do so. Rather than prevention, I think the answer is discouragement. Do something like the air marshals on airliners. Have certain teachers and administrators go through classes and training to posses and carry non-lethal weapons. You can bet that someone would be much less likely to cause that kind of trouble if they knew that there were other people in the building packing heat. Clearly this is not a complete solution, but this along with other deterring measures would make schools safer for the students. 

"The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed."-- Alexander Hamilton, The Federalist Papers at 184-188

"I sympathize with people who want to ban guns, but I can't agree with them. We have to be careful in our zeal to abolish guns that we don't wind up with counter-productive legislation that will leave armed only the people most likely to do harm with them." -- Hugh Downs

P. S. Big props to the teacher who chased the kid out of the school.

NASCAR, Beer, And Wings

At the moment I can't think of anything better than drinking a tall beer, eating some spicy wings, and watching a bunch of rednecks drive a hundred and ninety miles an hour around Daytona. I am definitely a nerd. As I watch this race, all I can think about is wind resistance and how cool it is that little flaps deploy when a car starts to spin to help keep it wheels down. Its the little things. Did you know they get money half way through the race? Some bloke just won two hundred grand for being in front half way through. I should have been a redneck.

"You win some, lose some, and wreck some."

What I Took From the Oscars

I think Robert Downey Jr. would be really cool to spend an afternoon with. Like have lunch, catch an afternoon ballgame, just hang out. Someone make that happen for me please. If I can't actually be Iron Man I would at least like to meet him.

"The truth is...I am Iron Man"

Nothing On TV

Is there anything more useless than 15* hours of fashion commentary leading up to the Oscars? Oh, the NBA All-Star game is on too, guess that answers my question. I don't think they need refs for this one. These babies aren't going to touch anyone they don't have to. Defense? I think not. Also, travelling has been deemed allowable, so there's that... Sloppy passes and missed dunks is mostly what I have been seeing so far. I could watch YouTube videos of street ball if that was what I wanted to see in a game of hoops. I will admit that Blake Griffin is impressive. I would gladly be posterized by him. He should have to play on a 12 foot rim to make it fair. And he does funny KIA commercials! And that hair!

Holy crap, have you seen the trailer for wrath of the titans? Epic.

So, the Oscar preshow has been deemed less entertaining than the commercials during the all-star game. I don't even know what any of those people were doing there. If anyone ever asked me who I was wearing I would promptly respond "your mom."

"I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch"

*estimate

Skyline

I love skyline. It is always a safe choice when trying to find a place to have a quick meal. I mean, its pasta, crazy chili, and a boat load of cheese. Nothing not to like. There are only two downsides to eating at Skyline. The first I promised myself not to talk about, and the second is the way everything you are wearing is going to smell afterward.

I don't understand how something can taste so good, yet make your clothes smell so awful. It must be some sort of odor from cooking, because every skyline smells the same regardless of the cleanliness of the establishment. Pasta doesn't really smell like anything. Chili smells delicious...usually. And cheese is fantastic. Maybe it is the chili? The stuff is a little weird. What is really impressive is the penetrating power of the aroma. It doesn't matter if you are wearing three layers and cologne, everything is going to smell funky when you leave. Imagine working there! Ugh.

In other news, I finally tried the extreme cheese and it is quite good. Just a hint of heat and a good flavor. I recommend it on everything.

"All generalizations are false, including this one."

Here's A Video! (S2000 Acceleration)

I was trying to upload a video of a curious grey kitten abusing a bumble bee, but it wouldn't load for some reason. So I uploaded a smaller one to see if any would work. This is it...

That's quick!

"If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough"

Anniversary

I am going to a 50th anniversary party later today. It is noteworthy because this is my second 50th anniversary party in the past year. It is rare enough that anyone makes it to fifty years of marriage. It is sad and quite frankly pathetic the way people treat marriage these days. Before you decide to get hitched, take a moment to pull your head out of your ass and decide if it is really a good idea. That would solve a lot of problems in all kinds of situations actually. But that is not likely to happen because part of the human condition is being a bunch of fools in all aspects of life. Guess its just something we have to deal with as the better people. Haha, yeah that's conceited. Deal with it.

Back to the point. Knowing two couples having 50th wedding anniversaries in one year is pretty inspiring. Congratulations to all four of them and good luck to any couples who are just starting out toward their own milestones.

"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

Priorities

Some people say I don't have my priorities straight. To them I say: what priorities? Buying two cars before moving out of the house? Someone is leaking jealousy. Why would I move out when I can buy cool stuff instead?

(side note. I just saw a commercial for a small electronic device that doesn't know if it is a phone or a tablet. I am pretty sure that means it is useless.)

Perhaps someday I will do things like save and be lame. I mean what is the reason for saving? Right, so that you can buy things later. I just skip the middle. In the mean time, I can't wait for spring. My second biggest bill each month goes toward paying for something that is sitting in a barn in rural Ohio. I think this is the part of the blog my sister says is sad. But it will be spring soon! I'm so excited! Baseball and convertibles! Boo ya grandma!

There is jack-nothing on TV tonight. Good thing I have this blog to write.

"If no one ever ate anything they had never tried before, the only thing they would ever eat is...milk"

Consumer Information

Maybe I'll write a few product reviews.

I bought a couch a few weeks ago. Its pretty nice. I had an idea in my head about what I was looking for, but it took me a while to find just the right fit for me and the space. It didn't help the situation that there is a plethora of combinations of material and style. Style was not so much of a problem. I am not much for the classic styles. Too frilly and fancy. They also often have patterns. Patterns are not my thing. Material was a bigger issue. Leather is nice, but it is also way expensive. Microfiber is cheaper, but it also looks cheaper. It seems like it will last about two weeks and then look like crap. What I ended up getting (and pretty much lucked into) is something called blended leather. This is leather like a vodka drink is vodka. It is mostly something less potent, but the vodka is what matters. The material my sofa is covered in is less than a fifth leather, but calling it blended polyurethane would not sell as many couches. Heck, I don't care. Its brown, soft, and way more comfortable than the floor. Was I going to include something like a product review in this post? I think that may have been the original intention. Well this thing is pretty nice. I have never had a real leather sofa, but this one passes all my tests. It smells nice, warms up comfortably while not getting too hot, and is substantial without dominating the room. I made a great choice, go me. I need to think a little before choosing my next product review topic, this one was a snooze fest.

"If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."

Bathroom Time

I have noticed something that I wish I hadn't. Some people like to spend a LOT of time in the can. One time the guy next to me flushed six times while I was in there. He was there when I went in and he was still there when I left.

What a relief! Now I don't have to debate writing about this topic anymore!

Estimated Usage

Anyone gotten a gas bill lately...or ever? I recently received my first gas bill at my new apartment. Reading it was a lovely reminder just how lazy and cheap gas companies are. The start date of my service was the 16th of January. On this date, Columbia Gas used an ESTIMATED reading to decide what the meter showed when I started living here. They reason that the actual reading the next month will make up for any discrepancies, and that makes sense most of the time. But really? Estimating the reading on the start date? Here Columbia Gas, here is my payment for the month. Its an estimate. I'll check next month to see if it is actually right. Why not just have payments due every other month? It doesn't make sense.

In other news, one of the ladies I work with made a comment about liking beards today during our afternoon of not being able to do work. I came home and shaved.

"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

Giving Out

You know what really hurts? When you are trying to get up and right when you put all your weight on one arm, your wrist crack two or three times and completely gives out. Then you lay on your back for a while and just laugh because if you don't then you will cry. What really sucks is that you were trying to get up to change the channel because commercials were on and now you are lying on the floor wishing you could get up but your joints are physically incapable of supporting you. It doesn't help that you were just doing a little working out and everything else kindof hurts too. Don't worry, it will pass after a few minutes.

Post Confusion

For some reason Blogger keeps submitting more recent posts below posts that have been on a while. So take a look down below if you don't see anything new.

Ideas For Things To Do

Do I have any readers yet? Its been a day. If anyone is out there, I am trying to come up with productive things to do to occupy my free time. So far I have started a blog. Comment if you have any suggestions. If you know your suggestion is foolish I will too. Good luck.

Ash Wednesday

The dumbest thing I did today? Went grocery shopping after dinner. I now own a bunch of new delicious food that I am not allowed to eat until tomorrow. Smart.

Fasting is hard for someone like me. I really like food. Plus there is not a whole lot to do and eating is a highly enjoyable way to pass the time. I also don't plan well, so I usually eat at times that leave large gaps between meals. What's worse is the abstinence though. Not eating meat? What am I a vegan? Terrible.

People Bother Me

Perhaps we have found the reason I am enjoying my change of scene so much. Not that my family was particularly annoying, but I see less of people in general now. The vast majority of people I encounter are rude, inconsiderate, and thoughtless. This may be due to the fact that most of the interactions I have with people involve driving. Driving turns many people into something less than human. They become consumed with the desire to arrive at their destination at the earliest possible moment and everyone else trying to get places be cussed. Yeah.

If you agree blink once.

Its unanimous. The motion is passed.

Sleep Deprived

I am so tired! I am siting at my desk zoning out. Coffee doesn't help. I need to go run around or something. 5 needs to hurry it up.

So I forgot it was Ash Wednesday. I knew there was something today I was supposed to remember at least. That counts for something right? Oh well. Hopefully it won't count too heavily against me. I did look up mass times and will be going at 7:30. Then grocery shopping with ashes on my head to testify a bit. Should be a blast.

On My Phone

Getting a new job has not diminished the amount of time I spend on my phone as much as I thought it would. Sure I can't literally make an hour long personal phone call while I'm working, but texting and the occasional game are still very much in the picture. It seems I will have to wait a little longer before I get a big person job. One I these days I will have to give a run down of the people I work with. They are all special in their own way.

It's pretty cool that I can blog from my phone. Now that I have this capability I will be able to tell myself someone is listening from anywhere!

Back to work, then lunch. Who knows what the rest of the day will hold? Stay tuned.

Technology

The Internet is running slow here at work. Everything uses the Internet. It is going to be a slow afternoon. Literally nothing works. I restarted my computer and it locked me out. Not cool.

Guess its going to be a conversation afternoon. I think I may go for a run later. Time to step it up. These twenty minute runs are not cutting it. I hope it's sunny one of these days. Even when the temperature is decent it's gloomy and nasty out. Not fun to run in.

What I Do

This post is terrible, don't bother.

The motivation for moving out of my parents house was simple: money. I got a cool (relative term) new job and it tore me away from my childhood home. Most would say its about time.

Anyway, I am currently a project manager for a company that produces and sells over two million dollars a week worth of industrial cranes. Some of these cranes are pretty impressive. I certainly know what I would do if I had fifty thousand dollars lying around...pay off my student loans and take a month long Caribbean vacation. The job is going well so far. Man, this one sounded better when I was drafting it in my head. Two posts in and the wheels are already starting to come off. Good thing no one is actually reading this crap. I am going to bed. This hairbrained idea has kept me up long enough.

Goodnight, Eric.

Whose Turn Is It To Do The Dishes?

A likely recurring theme of this publication (scoff) is the pros and cons of living alone. One issue that becomes evident every few days is dishes. I am the only one who uses them, so there are not that many. No one tells me when to wash them. The flip side is that I am on my own when the sink finally does fill up or the cupboards become empty. These two events usually coincide nicely. I'm not sure why I make a big deal of dishes. It takes ten minutes to wash them then they sit in the rack until morning when I can put them away.

I just had the great idea to store my dishes in the dishwasher. I never use it and I really don't have a lot of storage space. Done. Drinks all around when I get to a place where drinking is permitted.

First Post

I live by myself in a not especially exciting city, so I find myself having one sided conversations. I am going to use this blog to pretend that someone is listening other than God. Sometimes I think even He is bored. Check back often (or ever) to see what I have come up with. Don't worry, I will not be capitalizing pronouns in every post.

I seriously can't wait to start having great ideas. With any luck this will actually be interesting for me and the poor souls who happen upon this site.