Education

    AdSense seems to think I am not as educated as I should be. Just about all the advertisements on my blog are for online universities. I am a little bit offended. I'm not sure what they are trying to say about the content of my writings, but I am struggling to find anything good. Is the quality of the writing so poor that they think I am in need of some serious schooling? Do I write so much that they are making the assumption that I am unemployed and a quick new degree would help me in the job market? I don't know. This type of ad is pretty useless to most of the people who read this blog too, as everyone I know who reads it is either in college, graduated from college, or sold their soul to education and are now in grad school. Poor fools. They should bring the healthy weight gain ads back. At least those were funny. Or maybe ads for cheap housing, or food pantries for when these people finally get out of school and are up to their eyeballs in debt. I am just trying to help out, AdSense. Relevant advertisement helps us both. Honestly, if it was me, I would just advertise alcohol all the time. Universally appealing. Fun for all ages.

P.S. This is the second post I have written at work today.


"Get back witch!"
"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife, but after what you just said I'm not sure I even want to be that anymore!"
"You never had it so good."

Casual Friday

    I love wearing jeans and tennis shoes to work. There is just something about comfortable clothes that makes the day seem better, brighter. Flexible shoes make me light on my feet. Most days I trudge up and down the stairs, but on tennis shoe days I run up and bounce down. I have a pronounced spring in my step. I am not more productive, but we are not that busy anyway so it doesn't matter. I think the feeling has something to do with where else I could wear such clothing. My usual tucked in shirt and nice pants with brown shoes would seem out of place around town, but in my casual get-up I would fit in just about anywhere. Except a formal dinner party or a military function. Conceivably I could wear this stuff every day. My workplace does not have a strict dress code. I like to wear the more business-like attire during the rest of the week though. It makes me feel like I got a real professional job. Deep down I also hope other people are noticing my attention to appearance and it will lead to a faster trip up the ladder. Look at me! I look nice! Pay me more money!
   Why do headphone wires always tangle? I put them away with the utmost care, but it never fails that when I get them out they are wound together. Makin me angry. It defies the natural laws that are supposed to govern the universe. Maybe soon they will invent something that just beams the sounds directly into your noggin bypassing headphones altogether. Blog post done, I need to file a patent. Peace!

"Inigo, I saw the prince's stable, and there they were, four white horses. And I thought, there are four of us, if we ever find the lady. Hello, lady!"

Constant Gaming

    Sony has a new marketing campaign out for a handheld gaming device that can sync with the console connected to your television and allow for non-stop gaming when you are required to leave the house. I think this is ridiculous. The ad uses the example of having to go to work, but you want to keep playing. It shows a grown man playing a baseball game, then switching to his handheld and continuing playing as he makes his way to work. I have a few issues with this scenario. First: people who play sports games are not the types who can't walk away when they have something of actual importance to do. Second: people need to be playing a game as much as they possibly can play games like Warcraft, not baseball games. Third: people who are addicted to gaming don't have apartments, they live in their grandmother's basement and have dark blankets covering the windows so that they don't know whether it is day or night let alone what time it is. Fourth: People addicted to gaming don't have jobs to go to, so this new device is pointless.
    I have heard that Sony and Microsoft are planning new systems to be released as early as the end of this year. Or was it the end of 2013...I wasn't reading all that closely. One feature of Sony's new system is that it will restrict the playability of used games. Spell check is telling me playability is not a real word. Spell check is going to have to just deal with it. Anyway, this rumor has many people up in arms, because it is basically a company being overtly greedy. Consumers don't like that. I personally prefer the corporate greed of the producers of my goods to be completely under the radar. Luckily for me, I am far from exhausting the playability of the single five dollar game I own.

"I would as soon destroy a stained glass window as an artist such as yourself, but since I can't have you following me..."

Training Hard

    I stepped up my running today. I have been stuck at four miles and that is not going to cut it. Today I went five and a half miles. The route was not an easy one either. There are some big hills around here. When I say big, I mean big for running up. It was also really windy today. Try running up a half mile long hill into a stiff breeze while running a mile and a half farther than you have in a long time. Its not a picnic. I think I am about half way to being in shape. I have a lot of time to think while I am out running, so I came up with a pretty exact definition of how in shape I want to be. Here it goes. I want to be able to run six miles without any drama. I want to be able to run eight or ten miles without too much trouble if the mood takes me. And I want to be able to kick some cuss in a 5K. I mean seriously haul. Like sub-twenties. To do that I need to start running more than once every three days. I have gone 9.5 miles in the past two days, so that is good. I am going to try and find a race to get into this spring for a little extra motivation.

    It must be a sporty type of day. I just thought of another article I saw last week that made me stop and wonder. The article was about the Yoga World Championships. Doesn't that seem a little counter-intuitive? Isn't yoga about peace and all that horse-hockey? I don't know, I just thought that was worth sharing.

Check this out. And I hear that the "get the curves you deserve" ad is even better when you go to the site. ;)

"The Cliffs of Insanity!"

Sports Today

    The world of sports is heading down the toilet. "What?!?" You may ask. "But the Final Four is this weekend and baseball starts in a week!" Yes, I know. Those are both exciting and noteworthy events, but there is a bigger even dragging sports down. I am referring, of course, to the Olympic rule changes regarding what is considered an acceptable uniform for beach volleyball. Check it out. I am not making this up, though Yahoo! may be. I don't think they do any fact checking. "Shorts of a maximum length of [1.18 inches] above the knee, and sleeved or sleeveless tops, will now be allowed" Sleeves!!! I might as well gouge my eyes out or watch soccer (equivalents) if they are allowed to wear sleeves playing beach volleyball! "It's an attempt to broaden the diversity in the sport, which tends to be dominated by athletes from Europe, Brazil and the United States. Allowing shorts and shirts can encourage participation from countries with more modest cultural beliefs." Europe, Brazil, and the U.S. have the best looking participants. Well...Brazil anyway. Half of the U.S. team is hot. I think Misty May is the good looking one. Kerry Walsh is just really good at volleyball. On the flip side, I do look forward to judges getting out their 1.18 inch rulers to check if shorts qualify.

    It is incredibly sad how dumb professional basketball players are with money. I have read two articles recently about pro ballers with long careers who are now penniless due to their tiny brains. One of them is Dennis Rodman though, and I thought he would be dead by now (he is 51, isn't that crazy?) so I guess there really isn't any surprise there. I can't remember the name of the other guy. He played for the Celtics a while back and looked out of shape then. He is trying to get back into the league, but he doesn't put in the time or the effort. These people should not be payed half of what they are making. The money is just squandered anyway.

"Yes, you're very smart. Now shut up."

Weight Gain

    Well this one prolly won't garner me too many fans. I am having a difficult time gaining weight. For a while there I was sitting in the mid 140s. I have been eating a ton and drinking more beer (a secret of sumo wrestlers) and I am only up to 161. For the past two weeks, every time I weigh myself, I am within three pounds. I use the scale in the factory, so I know it has to be pretty accurate. I think a big obstacle for me is the type of weight I am trying to gain. The idea is not to get fat, but to get big. I am running, lifting, eating a ton, and drinking protein shakes. I know some people say that you don't need as much protein as those drinks have, but after a hard workout you feel a lot better with a nutrient rich beverage. I could eat more, except there are some days already that I am about at my intake maximum. I need to figure something out. I think another big issue I have is that a little bit of exercise wakes up the calorie furnace that is my metabolism and it pretty much doesn't matter how much I eat, none of it is going to stick. Its a curse really. On top of that, after my run today, one of my toenails was bleeding through my sock. Ha! Weren't expecting to read that today were you! Hahaha! I'm sorry. Real runners will tell you this stuff happens. I think its pretty gross. Oh well.

P.S. We're in the money now folks. Keep coming back.

"You have six fingers on your right hand. Someone was looking for you."

Writers Block

    It pains me that there is never anything to write about in the news. Don't get me wrong, there are tons of news stories every day. The problem is that I get angry about just about every topic the news media deems worthy of press time. Politics annoy me to no end. The stupid stuff the people we have in office try to pull and do get away with makes me sick. What makes everything worse is that politicians weasel their way into most of the other stories too. Article about health care? Someone has to bring up how congress is exempt (complete bull-cuss by the way) Congress is a bunch of self-entitling elitists. And I am not making any party distinctions. They are all that way. I wish I was a member of congress. I would be set for life. But I digress. Another stupid political side-note came courtesy of Obummer. Barry decided to choose a side in a Florida shooting before it had been fully fleshed out and, in my opinion, he is looking pretty dumb because of it.
    See what I mean? So angry! Stupid people doing stupid things and the stupid population wanting to hear more about all of the stupid details. I hate the crap in the news. I need to eat dinner. Enjoy the epic elephant journey.

"Chocolate helps it go down easier."