Omissions

    I realized after I made that post yesterday that I had a pretty big weekend and basically skipped right over it. The fun started Friday at four when I got off work an hour early and hit the road. Traffic was pretty light, so I was making good time, but I knew that there would be tie-ups in Cinci so I had to keep the hammer down. Sure enough, about twenty miles from my destination, the lane I was in stopped. The other two kept going, which did not make me happy. Then they stopped too and I got over it. We were stop and go for a little while, then magically everything cleared up. The only possible reason for the delay (other than rampant Cincinnati driver incompetence) was a disabled vehicle on the side of the road. Things didn't start to get hairy again until I was almost at the 75-71 split where both highways converge and try to cross the river at the same spot. This works about as well as it sounds like it would. Miles from the bridge, the right two lanes get backed up. You know, the ones that you need to be in to exit. A little ways up from where the right lanes get jammed, the left lane gets backed up with people trying to get on 71. This leaves one lane clear. I am in a hurry, so there is no way I am getting over before I have to. I know my exit is coming up in less than a mile. There are no gaps. There is a sign for my exit in half a mile. Still no gaps. Keep in mind, I am still going 65 and I have to cross two lanes of stopped traffic to exit. Here comes my exit, then as the exit ramp begins a gap appears between a car and the semi in front of it. I put my signal on and swoop in and just as I enter that spot, another gap appears in front of an RV in the next lane. I gun it and after a split second of panic that comes with a blind lane change I am off the highway on a nearly deserted downtown street just minutes from the park.
     There were tons of Tigers fans around. I think some of them were lost, because as I was driving in there were some like ten blocks away from the stadium walking the wrong way. I drove around for bit trying to find a cheap place to park. I made a pass by the park and then headed back away. Two blocks away was a sign for $15 parking. Heck no. On the next block was a garage with $7 parking. Much better. I changed out of my jeans in my car (this is highly impressive and that is only reason I have included it), grabbed my glove, and headed for my first major league game in two years. Met up with Courtney in front of the park and went in. We had over an hour before the game started, so we walked around the park. I had a feeling there would be some people there that I knew, but you will never guess who I actually ran into. Tony Metzger! I know right? What are the odds? So that was cool to chat with him for a second. Then we bought a couple wallet busting beers (which were almost worth it they were so delicious. Half Summer Shandy, half Berry Weiss give it a try sometime) and found our seats. The Tigers lost, but whatever. They won the next two games and look like a team that wants to win. They have even been playing offense and defense in the same games.
    I am tired of typing for now. Later I will recount the thrilling experience of getting from the stadium to my car then to a restaurant that serves food after 11.

"If this thing was any smarter it would write a book. A book that would make Ulysses look like it was written in crayon. Then it would read it to you."

Its Is Still Spaghetti Day

    Last day of the spaghetti marathon. I took a break over the weekend. I am a little sad actually. This means I am going to have to cook again soon. I have no idea what I want to eat tomorrow. Maybe it is time to cook up some of those hamburgers I got last week. That might have to happen.
     Went to the Tigers game on Friday. Not surprisingly it was the one game they lost this weekend. Still, it was fun. There were a ton of Tigers fans at the park. From what I heard and saw of the two other games, even more Tigers fans showed up for those. I have heard quite a bit of internet grumbling about a supposed "spitball" thrown by Jose Valverde. I personally hope he did throw a spitball. If you ain't cheatin, you ain't tryin. Someone posted a video of it to YouTube and it just looked like a straight ball to me. That was Charlie Brown's only pitch. The only reason Schroeder even put down signs was to make the other team think he threw something other than a straight ball. He also got thrown out trying to steal home one time because he worked himself up so much thinking about doing it that he slid half way down the base path. Never came close to the plate. Quite the silly cue ball headed character.

     I really like my car. Today at a red light I was enjoying the breeze coming in the window so much that I wanted more. Popped the latches and ten seconds later the roof was down and I could continue on my way. I wonder what the other cars on the road think when I do stuff like that. They should just mind their own business.

Good Week, Fingers Crossed

   So. The week so far has been something else. Monday was pretty uneventful. Work was just work, most of the skin peeled off my back, went for a nice run in the evening, nothing much to report. I honestly don't remember much of Monday. I am not going to try and decide if that is a good thing or not. Moving on... Today was pretty terrible. We had a guy come in to inspect a crane. The company that commissioned him to do the inspection was not especially clear on what exactly they wanted. They did not give him any specific instructions and they certainly didn't give me any. I had a few documents and certifications showing that the crane had gone through the correct processes to be built. So I spent five hours, not including the lunch hour, sitting there waiting for him to figure out what information he needed so I could tell him it was done or correct or whatever. It was especially frustrating since I actually had stuff to do today. For once. Nothing was going right either. The guy couldn't connect to our internet and acted like it was crazy town that we have a secure network, then he needed to scan a bunch of stuff and of course there is one flipping scanner in the whole building. And it had a paper jam. Its not my fault, okay?!? Just fill out your damn paperwork and go away! I have cranes to pretend to manage.

   It is all up hill from here! I got two new hand soaps, Lemon Grass & Basil and Black Currant & Plum. Not sure why they can't seem to just put one aroma in a soap. Maybe it is in the aroma's contract that they have to be paired. Someone should look into that for me. WEDNESDAY IS SPAGHETTI DAY!!! That means I am having spaghetti. I am excited. Almost as excited as I am for Friday when I get to see the Tigers get humiliated by the Reds! I mean when I get to see the Tigers finally win a cussing game! Yay! They better win. I will be sooo angry if I go to a game and they lose. Sadly, the odds are not in my favor that will happen.

"Good feeling gone."

New Experiences

    I got to go to a job site this week. It was a nice change of pace getting out from in front of the computer screen. I am back in front of it writing this of course. At the site I got to see an installer put four cranes in the air. It was a very easy install. They put all four up in less than an hour. There was plenty of overhead clearance and there was room to spare on both sides of the rails. I would like to see a difficult install sometime. This was new construction, no equipment or anything in the way. I would like to see something go up in an existing building where they have to maneuver around things and everything is not super easy. I got lunch paid for this time though, so I have no complaints. The week was super slow, so and change of pace was welcome.

    Just watched The Brothers Grimm. Weird movie. It would have been better if you could understand anything  the guy with the French accent was saying. Or if the little bits of CGI they used were not so campy. It is a highly improbably story. I think they all would have died several more times if it was more realistic. Yes I did say more times. Most of the main characters died once. I also used the word realistic to describe a movie that is based around fairy tale story lines. The old fairy tales were quite cool really. Evil queens living in tower, heroes battling supernatural forces. Too bad all we know of them these days is soft color dwarfs and never ending musical numbers. I wouldn't mind finding a real life sleeping beauty. Aurora was hot in that movie.

    Its too bad the only recent movies on Hulu are Miramax. That studio is pretty much terrible at making movies.Oh well, Kate & Leopold it is. Hey, Hugh Jackman and the guy who plays his brother in X-Men Origins: Wolverine are both in this. Its like 19th century X-men. Yeah, just keep telling myself that. At least so far I have understood every line. Hahaha, they just time traveled.

"Give it the beans!"

Too Much Sun

    Does it count as drunk driving if the person doing the steering and working the pedals is sober but the one doing the shifting has had a few more than one? I am going to say no.

    I played my first round of golf over the weekend. A complete 15 holes. That was all my team mate and I could take. The day started out well enough. Ten guys hitting the links for the start of a bachelor party. Then we got to the first tee. I am not horrible. I hit a few decent shots. Sadly, my best drive we could not find, even though it clearly landed on the fairway. Others we could not find because they landed two holes over across a pond. I had some decent putts. I don't think any of the greens were particularly difficult either. I had at least two rim out. That has to be the most demoralizing thing in the world. You do all that work. Hit the ball as best you can over and over. Then, right when victory is within your grasp, you miss by a half inch and have to take that ten because everyone is yelling at you to stop holding up the group. That didn't actually happen. We were playing best shot, and we are really good at cheating, so the worst we got on any hole was an 8 and we didn't even play those two. Seriously, that is when it became not worth it and we spent the next two holes driving around drinking more beer. Busch classic. That is not what it is actually called, but it wasn't Busch light. Doesn't everyone just make something plausible up when they don't really know what they are talking about? Well they should. On one hole, the rule was you had to use a seven iron on every shot (there was a rule for each hole). On the seven iron hole, I teed off using a crushed Coors Light can. It was my second best shot of the day.

   I got a great sun burn on the course. I wore a polo with a sleeveless athletic shirt underneath. It was too hot on the back nine, so I took the polo off and proceeded to make it look like I had a white shirt on all the time. Luckily we went to the pool Monday afternoon during the hottest part of the day and I burned the heck out of the rest of me, so it just looks like I am an Indian. That's not racist. I think this is the end of this post.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, say it under your breath."

A Regular

    Something out of the ordinary in my pathetically mundane life occurred yesterday. I got a visit from a family member. My big bro Adam stopped in on his way back to St. Louie. Truth be told, he stopped in at just about every town in Ohio. The main reason for the stop was to give his Jeep a rest. It gets tired. He had to stop in Paris and Brazil. We went to the only bar I have found that is worth going to for dinner. On the way there we were talking about being a regular at a place. I was saying that I was not a regular, but was sort of trying to move in that direction. When we were there, Adam asked the girl behind the bar what the specials were that day. She apologized and said she just assumed I already knew. I may not be a regular, but I am apparently a familiar face. Not sure if that is a good thing or not.

    I heard another fantastic instance of parenting from across the parking lot today. The super fat lady was getting out of the car with her two small children when her husband (I am assuming, poor man) came out and helped carry stuff in. This was said by the large one to the husband about the little girl: "She is being an eyehole." I am paraphrasing. This lady needs to stop wearing tank tops. Not only is she enormous, she wears skin hugging clothing. Must be a really lousy way to live. Huge and angry. I prolly need to move before I say something insulting and she sits on me.

"More like an involuntary vow of poverty."

Big Questions

    Is the relaxed state of eyelids open or closed? I always thought it was closed. After all, you are not thinking about keeping your eyes closed when you are asleep, but they stay that way. On the other hand, I hardly ever have to really concentrate on keeping my eyes open when I am awake either. I just open them and they kind of stay there. Sometimes it feels really nice to close my eyes, almost like it is a load off of some muscle that has been straining. Just now I was laying on the ground barely using any muscles at all (trying to relax all of them actually) and my eyes were still open. My vision was starting to blur because the muscles in my eyes were not trying very hard, but my eyes were not closing. When I closed them, it seemed like more of a strain. This is truly a paradox.

    Bob asked me if I lost my razor this morning. In his words, the guys on the floor are supposed to look disheveled, but me, as a high ranking company official, should look presentable at all times. It is news to me that I am high ranking or official. I am not sure if he also noticed that I forgot to put a belt on this morning when I was getting dressed. I won’t tell you what else Bob told me. It had something to do with women being allowed to vote and how back when only men made decisions they would just shoot the people who were dragging their feet and a lot more things got done. He was being mostly serious.

    I have discovered my new favorite spicy sauce. It is a chili garlic sauce and it is hot as heck. Really tasty though. It goes magnificently with Kraft mac n cheese with a Bud Lime to drink. It really clears out the sinuses too. It is about half chili seeds and the rest is just mashed up garlic and peppers I am pretty sure. I really have no idea what is in this stuff. It could be little seed shaped pieces of wood and artificial red spicy paste for all I know.



“So you put down your rock and I put down my sword and we try to kill each other like civilized people?”